Wednesday, July 29, 2009

This Will Be Wordy And Random

I see and observe others in various environments. I watch and I listen. It's what I do. I learn from other people's experiences therefore learn from their mistakes. Every situation that I am faced with, I choose the best outcome which usually ends up being different to other situations I have seen before. What may seem like the best answer to me, is not the best answer for someone else. I'm afraid of these hardships. I'm afraid of the troubles. Some would say that going through all the hardships and troubles was the best thing that could've happened to them.

There are some things that aren't meant to be shared with others, especially if you're telling that one person something that directs to them. They could take it as a positive or they could take it as a negative. It's 50/50. I always make the mistake of telling people what someone has said about them. I'm not talking about gossip. Just small questions or comments that involve that person in some way. To me, it's a simple question. To others, it questions their character and tells them in what way others see them. Unfortunately, most things that people ask me will always be seen as a negative by the person whom they are asking a question about.

You know how you see couples walking down the street? The ones that are hand in hand, talking and laughing with each other, both of them with bright smiles on their face? You see them and you wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship like that. Lots of smiles, laughter, and hugs. You think about being in a relationship, but you can't picture yourself in one. For some reason, putting yourself in that position doesn't fit well with you, or at least that's what you think. It seems to come easy to other people, but being in it yourself scares you. I am scared. I can't see myself in that way. As that girl who happily walks with him, laughing at his jokes, gripping his arm close to me as a sign to others that he is mine. I'm afraid that I will reject every opportunity that faces me. I'm already rejecting them now.

I've always been a private person. I keep a lot of details about me inside, so hardly anyone knows that much about me. There are others who like to talk about themselves. They tell stories from their childhood to stories that reveal secrets that they have kept for years. They're the people who like talking about their lives. I admit, it feels sort of liberating let others know things about you. It's freeing to talk. But, I've learned that talking hasn't been beneficial for me and now I am stuck with keeping everything inside. All throughout high school, I rarely talked, much less talk about myself. In college, I slipped out a few non-important things (to me anyways) about me because I thought I could confide in the people who I thought were my close friends. Hearing those whispers behind my back, the jokes, hurt. Since then, I found that I can't trust anyone. No one these days know anything about keeping secrets. Everyone loves the "gossip."

There are some stories that should never be told. I’ve always found an interest in what happens in people’s lives, but there are some things that I wish I didn’t hear. It upsets me the most when you think it will not affect you at all and it ends up hurting you more than you thought it would. And the more you think about it, the more pain you feel. The more you think about it, the more you want to forget about the whole thing. The more you want to forget, the more irrational things you end up doing. All from a story that has nothing to do with you and yet, it does.

I think a lot about what life would be like if I had gone to school with a different major. Schools only give you so much time to settle on something; settle before you even try all of their options. With a specialized school, those options are limited. I love art. For a long time, I thought I would grow up to be a graphic designer, an animator, a cartoonist, something that dealt with the arts, and then I quickly changed directions. What I'm studying now is something that I wouldn't say I love, but it's interesting. Will interesting keep me interested? I have no idea.

Monday, July 27, 2009

You Can't Hold Me With Your Heart Alone

Currently Playing: "Surfing On A Rocket" by Air
Currently Feeling: Pretty tired and bored

There's this band called Winterplay. They're very jazzy and I like it. I think they have three albums out. I have their 2nd one Hot Summerplay and I kind of want the first one. Yesasia has Happy Snow Bubble for $15, but I don't know if I want to get it now. Maybe I'll convince my parents to get it since I'm poor (or at least since I need to save it for the school year). :D They're 2nd one came out on the 7th and their 3rd (which is the first Japanese one) came out a couple of days ago, so that's cool. And the singer's English is pretty good. A lot better than most Korean artists out there.

I would listen to their cover of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" also. Very nice.

"Gypsy Girl" from Hot Summerplay


I got the key for the house that I'm going to be living in next year. It's pretty exciting. I'm not exactly sure when I'll move in since my friend's dad still has things to do around the house. Probably like a week or two before school starts.

So I just pre-ordered Armistice by Mute Math. I can't wait till I actually get it. It was pretty cheap too. Only $15 with shipping and handling, so I took advantage of that. :D

I don't know what to do these days. I deactivated my facebook page because I spent too much time on there. Now, I have so much time. All I really did on there was play games... And now I'm trying to find games online outside of facebook... Haha. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my summer making paper stars.

Edit: Darn, I gave in and reactivated it. I missed the games...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

I Never Meant to Start a War

Currently Playing: "Take Me Back (ft. Taio Cruz)" by Tinchy Stryder

I got my license last Thursday! Hooray! I'm just glad that I can drive anywhere now and I don't need my mom sitting in the passenger seat.

Almost one month till school starts. I miss it a lot. It's been really boring and I really want to leave my house. Luckily, I get to move into the house (that I'm living in next year) early August. :D

There's still a lot of things I want to do before school starts though... Like, cutting and coloring my hair... And also, I plan on making a giant homemade disco ball for the house since I don't want to pay a ridiculous amount for a real one. I also want a paper ceiling cat for my room... And a string of monster lights.

I also need to write more songs. I have lots of piano melodies, but not enough songs/lyrics. Writing lyrics is hard, especially when you don't want to be cliche. I also want to learn to transcribe songs better. ^^

I'm going whale watching in Boston on Saturday. How fun.

P.S. I really love this gif.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Stop to Wonder Why You're Here and Not There

Currently Playing: "Stop & Stare" by OneRepublic

So, I went to the Harry Potter premiere last night. One of my friends said we should meet up at the theater at 6PM, but the thing was was that they wouldn't let people into the actual theater until 10. So, we ended up walking around the mall and spent a good amount of time at the bookstore. We went at 10, were the 2nd group there, and sat around for 2 hours doing nothing.

The movie itself was really long. I started to get fidgety and bored around the 2nd hour of the movie and we still had about 45 mintues to go. Overall, it was okay. I could've waited to see it.

I'm going camping this weekend. Well, not really camping since I don't plan on sleeping over, but my family and I are going to Deersfield with a bunch of my cousins and aunts and uncles. It's an annual thing we do where the highlight is tubing down this really long river. The whole thing takes about 4 hours, so it's pretty much an all day thing.

I wonder if we're going to see a bear again this year.

Friday, July 10, 2009

This Is Our Night, FLY to the Top, Baby

Currently Playing: "너 없인 행복할 수 없잖아" by Mary Story

I think the title is "I Can't Be Happy Without You." I probably translated that wrong... Oh well.

I have their album, but I haven't really listened to it... I just got Eurovision 2009 so that's been mostly on repeat these days... Haha. I really like dance/upbeat music.

I think I've been downloading too much music this summer. I went from having around 30GB of free space down to 19GB. EEK. I just checked, and I have about 15GB of music. Maybe I'll get rid of some of them by burning them on CDs. If I do that, then I need a stereo that can play CDs cause all I have is one that you plug your iPod into.


I guess I'm going to see the midnight premiere of Harry Potter Tuesday night. I'm not a gigantic fan, but I am excited. My friend Bryan said he didn't want to go cause there would be weird people dressed in capes and waving wands around. Hahaha. I should bring my camera...

I had the weirdest dream last night dealing with school. Nothing was really important, only that it was weird and felt real. Haha. I also had another one where I cursed at my uncles which was odd cause I don't hate any of them.

So, my parents are leaving for Hampton Beach tomorrow. I would've gone, but it's weird when it's with just them. On Sunday, the family's going to Boston for this ship thing. I don't care too much for that... I'm only going because my mom said that we can stop by and eat in Chinatown. Hahaha. I love dim sum.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

But You Just Say, It's OK

Currently Playing: "RPG Shine" by W & Whale

I like bands that use the piano as one of their instruments. It gives me inspiration for when I need to write music which isn't going so well, by the way. I'll get to it later.

Again, I like the female vocals. Not high-pitched and annoying, so it's easy to listen to. This band consists of the male trio W and the female singer Whale (hence their name becoming W & Whale). Their song RPG Shine (RPG = Rocket Punch Generation) was the title track on the I Like It Hot OST. I haven't seen that movie. I guess I will since I like this song. :D

I have all of their albums that they have released so far. Apparently, I've already listened to the entire 2nd album, but I honestly can't remember anything but the title track. I have a really bad habit of leaving music on and not actually listening to it. I'll listen carefully from now on.


I went to the Boston Pops 4th of July Celebration yesterday. I left Christina's house at 4:30AM and got there at 5:30AM. The oval didn't open till 9, so we ended up sitting in line for 3 1/2 hours until we were finally let in. It was crazy because people were running to get a spot in the front. We were about 7 rows back from the stage, so we were pretty close. The concert didn't start till 8PM. Lots of sitting around and waiting. Plus, it was really hot and I thought I was going to die because I wore jeans instead of shorts...

I think I got on T.V. 3 times? I did this retarded dance when I saw the camera on me because I was excited. Hahaha. I looked so dumb.

Harry Potter comes out next Wednesday! I'm going to see the midnight show with Emily and Christina and a few of her friends. Excited.

So, I am supposed to write music over the summer for this "band" thing, which I don't expect to go through fully in terms of doing band-like things... But anyways, I've been getting little melodies done on the piano and lots done in my head, but I can't put lyrics to any of them. Writing songs is so hard. Since I find writing stories easier, I tried making stories into lyrics, but then I don't want to many "story songs" so I end up writing nothing. I need inspiration.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Rolling Steady, I'm Gonna Make You Shiver

Currently Playing: "Lip" by Dear Cloud

It's hard nowadays to find a Korean good group that has female vocals that aren't annoyingly high-pitched. All the mainstream stuff is really bubblegum pop and cutesy. As much as I like to get cutesy once in a while (I know, right?), I need some serious music.

I stumbled upon Dear Cloud when I was watching music videos on YouTube. The lead singer has a really nice, deep, flowing voice which I don't hear much in Korean music today. I'm just about finished downloading their albums now so I'm going to listen to them later.

"Lip" off their 2nd album, Grey


So, I scheduled another road test and this time I know I will do everything correctly (hopefully...). It's on Thursday at 4PM. I hope the instructor guy won't be annoyed by the end of the day (I doubt it...).

Today's Wednesday, right? Yep. Tomorrow, I'm going into Boston with my family for whale watching. I think my aunt said something about not being able to do that because of the weather... We'll probably end up going to the aquarium and hang around the Quincy market area and maybe Chinatown.

Friday, I have to make food for my other aunt's baby shower and then I'm going over to my friend's house. I'm sleeping over and then we're going to leave early for Boston (again!) so we can get a good parking spot. Fireworks at night, then home.

A thunderstorm's a coming.